Suggested Reading

The Lesbian Parenting Book: A Guide to Creating Families & Raising Children
Authors: D. Merilee Clunis, Ph.D., and G. Dorsey Green, Ph.D.
Clunis and Green have put together a wonderful guide for lesbian parents and parents-to-be. Drawing on their own and others' experiences, the authors address many of the problems that lesbian parents have to face. These problems vary from deciding how to get pregnant to dealing with homophobic ex-spouses, involuntary "outing" by children, and questions about why their family is so different. Clunis and Green devote much of the book to giving a quick but thorough rundown on the developmental stages children go through. They cover issues all parents have to face, lesbian or not, from prenatal care to how to live with an adult child who has returned home. The book does have a few problems-the chapter on dealing with confronting racism is unnecessarily preachy, for instance-but they do not detract from the overall quality. The appended list of parenting and gay and lesbian resources is particularly useful. This book deserves a place in every public library.
Six Steps to Increased Fertility: An Integrated Medical and Mind/Body Program to Promote Conception
Authors: Robert L. Barbieri, M.D., Alice D. Domar Ph.D, Kevin R. Loughlin, M.D.
It's time to make a baby. You and your partner ditch the birth control, chart your cycle, pinpoint Ovulation Day, and then proceed to make wonderful love, reveling in the joy and excitement of creating new life. Later, you make lists of names, even daydream about your child going to your alma mater. Then reality hits. You don't get pregnant. In high school, they warned, "It only takes one time." But age, health problems, and the anxiety that often builds around an inability to conceive can turn that early admonition into a mocking refrain. Today, about 20 percent of couples find themselves riding the cyclone of fertility frustration, alternately flying high on hope, then plunging into despair as each month passes without a positive pregnancy test. For anyone who's been trying to get pregnant for at least a year (the current definition of infertility), Six Steps to Increased Fertility is a must-read. Written by the Harvard Medical School team Robert L. Barbieri, M.D., Alice D. Domar, Ph.D, and Kevin R. Loughlin, M.D., Six Steps guides you through the conception process, explaining what can derail it and detailing the vast range of treatment options for boosting conception odds--from simple lifestyle adjustments to fertility drugs to more aggressive therapies like in vitro fertilization. Along the way, there are supportive tales of couples who've survived the infertility ordeal and checklists of questions for your doctor. A medical glossary and a list of organizations that deal with infertility, mental health, miscarriage, and adoption are tucked in the back.
Healing Mind, Healthy Woman: Using the Mind-Body Connection to Manage Stress and Take Control of You
Author: Dr. Alice Domar
The director of the women's health programs at Harvard Medical School's Division of Behavioral Medicine, Domar has closely observed the effect of emotions on the physical health of women. Aided by science writer Dreher, she here "describes scientific research showing that all these mind-body methods?relaxation, cognitive therapy, emotional expression, and social support?yield measurable physical and psychological benefits." Although too long and too repetitive for readers who are at all familiar with the power that the mind has on the body, the book's organization makes sense for readers who are beginning to explore the connection. Part I lays out the general background on the various kinds of "mind-body medicine." Part II applies these approaches to specific case studies on PMS, infertility, menopause, breast and pelvic cancer and other problems. The overlapping inherent in this structure, added to Domar's reiteration of her theoretical position when discussing details of the case studies, makes for heavy reading. Even so, readers will find hope, reassurance and plenty of motivation in Domar's presentation.
Good Grief: Healing Through the Shadow of Loss
Author: Deborah Morris Coryell
This book explores the nature of loss as a profound mystery shared by all human beings. It offers sensitive and practical advice for experiencing grief and preparing for the healing journey that follows.
Coping with Infertility
Authors: Negar Nicole jacobs and William T. O'Donohue
Infertility affects nearly one in six couples in the English speaking world each year. Coping with the psychological aspects in addition to the biological aspects of infertility is critical. This book addresses the psychological aspects, offering techniques for couples to use in overcoming the emotional roadblocks in working with fertility.
Conquering Infertility
Author: Dr. Alice Domar
Focusing on a topic the author covered more briefly in Healing Mind, Healthy Women, Domar, an assistant professor of medicine at Harvard, with freelance writer Kelly, provides here a well-written and supportive self-help manual for women who have been unable to sustain a pregnancy. The stresses that accompany infertility can impact negatively on a woman's relationship with her husband, family members, friends and colleagues. Domar strongly recommends and fully describes such relaxation techniques as yoga, meditation, journal writing and guided imagery as useful ways to cope with infertility treatments, feelings of failure, and obsessive envy of women who are mothers. She also details how to overcome sexual and emotional tensions that spring up between married couples around this issue. Drawing on case studies and recent research indicating that the depression resulting from infertility can actually hinder attempts to become pregnant, the author advocates a positive approach based on self-nurturing that will improve an infertile woman's outlook on life. Domar also discusses when it may be time to abandon expensive and painful infertility treatments and, depending on the individuals involved, explore using donor eggs or sperm, pursue adoption or come to a decision to remain childless.